International Women’s Day is coming up and I think the theme should be extraordinary women. I would like to share with you what I believe makes a woman extraordinary and give you some insights into ways of making your own life and the lives around you extraordinary. I am going to share with you my own beliefs and values, and I hope that you will enjoy my message and be inspired and motivated to continue on your own extraordinary journeys.
Over the last six years, I have come to know and understand what being extraordinary means. Through my own experiences and those of some close friends and associates, I have watched women do extraordinary things. They have:
Got married
Got divorced
Given birth
Mourned a lost baby
Buried a parent
Buried a friend
Started a business
Sold a business
Folded a business
Got jobs
Lost jobs
Found love
Lost love
Found financing
Had it all fall through at the last second
Hired staff
Fired staff
Made new friends
Lost friends
Wrote books
Launched websites
Gone back to school
Sent kids to university
Bought houses
Bought dogs
Bought buildings
Taken trips
Moved
And many more things.
Truly extraordinary.
Being an ordinary human means taking what this world has to offer and creating a life that you want. For every woman, success means something different, and it can measured in a multitude of ways and through a multitude of filters. In the end – it is a very personal journey.
Being extraordinary means reaching out from your life and the life you have created to positively impact the lives of those around you.
It is the extras that make someone extraordinary. It is putting in the extra time, going the extra mile and hanging on for that extra second. It is staying up late to put the finishing touches on a proposal or driving all over town for a client. It is keeping your husband interested after three children and 18-hour days, and it is for always being there for a friend – no matter what time they call.
Being extraordinary means owning your own life and owning your own power. So many women today are pushing through the pasts’ boundaries in order to create their own paths of success. Tonight we celebrate them.
A few years ago, I was asked to speak at an event about the future of young women in this country. In preparing for that speech, I was astounded by the number of women who had gone before me and who had broken down the barriers and obstacles that used to face us.
Yes, there are still challenges that we must overcome, but in general, I can stand here and say to you – there is no opportunity, no challenge, no goal that is too out of reach or unattainable. There is no skill, no job, no connection that we cannot make and cannot strive for. That is extraordinary. Now let me ask a question: Who considers themselves to be extraordinary? That is the first step. Recognizing and honouring your own worth.
One of my favourite quotes is from Marianne Williamson from A Return to Love. This happened to also be one of Nelson Mandella’s favourite quotes. It is: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”
Actually, who is NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Being extraordinary means searching for and finding our light. Dispelling the darkness that can sometimes surround us and sharing it with the world. Are there challenges? Darn straight. But we must be courageous.
I attended a seminar last fall that for me was truly life changing. One of the major themes was courage. Now some believe that courage is lacking fear in a situation that would normally generate it. Others, in contrast, hold that courage requires one to have fear and then overcome it. John Wayne said it this way, “Courage is being scared to death – and saddling up anyway.”
Eleanor Roosevelt said this about courage, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
But, my favourite is Ashley Hodgeson, who said this, “Strength and courage are not always measured in medals and victories. They are measured in the struggles they overcome. The strongest people are not always the people who win, but the people who do not give up when they lose.”
So being extraordinary is facing your challenges with courage in order to overcome them.
In my life and my career, I have had occasion to work with and consult many extraordinary business people and entrepreneurs. I am a perpetual student, and I have always been in love with tales of the human spirit, of personal triumph against all odds, and stories of accomplishment. While my work has taken me in many directions, I have always been focused on sales and marketing, the disciplines of growth and advancement.
One of the major findings that I have uncovered is that extraordinary people, extraordinary women in particular, have a real intolerance of one thing: Mediocrity.
Mediocrity is a disease. It is the language and spirit of “good enough.” Mediocrity keeps us from reaching, from achieving, and from dreaming. And, it is spreading.
Uta Hagen, a stage actress known for her roles in A Streetcar Named Desire, and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf said:
“We must overcome the notion that we must be regular…it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre. Extraordinary women , not only push passed mediocrity, they actively reject it! By actively rejecting mediocrity, they are consciously choosing excellence. If you do not actively REJECT MEDIOCRITY, then you are unwittingly choosing it over excellence – and will be travelling down a road littered with broken dreams and failed expectations.”
Buck Rogers of IBM was quoted as saying, “There are countless ways of attaining greatness. But, any road to reaching one’s maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence and a rejection of mediocrity.”
I would like to share with you 10 Choices that I have learned that you CAN make every day, every minute, in order to ensure you are on the road to Extraordinary and are actively rejecting mediocrity.
1. Choose to be ENERGETIC – instead of permitting yourself to get run down and burned-out.
2. Choose to be PASSIONATE – instead of permitting yourself to be aimless and indifferent.
3. Choose to be ENTHUSIASTIC – instead of permitting yourself to be half-hearted and discouraged.
4. Choose to be SELF-DIRECTED – instead of permitting yourself to become uncertain and directionless.
5. Choose to be PREPARED – instead of permitting yourself to be shortsighted and reactive.
6. Choose to be FOCUSED – instead of permitting yourself to be scattered and impulsive.
7. Choose to be SUPPORTIVE – instead of permitting yourself to become critical and judgmental.
8. Choose to be SYSTEMATIC – instead of permitting yourself to become haphazard and disorganized.
9. Choose to be TIMELY – instead of permitting yourself to become distracted and preoccupied.
10. Choose to be PROACTIVE – instead of permitting yourself to become procrastinating and hesitant.
At every point in time, you make these choices. Thomas Watson, Founder and past Chairman of IBM, said that if you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less than excellent work. I say we should all be striving for extraordinary.
As women today, we are extremely lucky. W have access to all the information and knowledge we can acquire We also have access to powerful associations, networks and groups. Use them: To connect with each other, to share your stories and your experiences, to support and uplift yourselves and each other. Encourage the growth and advancement of each other. For that is what we exist for. I leave you with a final quote and a personal challenge for each of you.
The first is this:
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again. Who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause. Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
— Theodore Roosevelt (The Man in the Arena)
successaintforsissies.wordpress.com 